I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
