3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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