You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So drunk its hurt
Can i not drive my cunt home
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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