singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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