it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
