Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
