; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
