I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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