your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize