i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
