yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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