It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
