The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
