he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
