It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
