a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
