I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
