i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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