I think i sorta joined a cult last night
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize