I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Are my feet made of real feet?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
