Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
one two three fourrrrnication!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize