my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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