he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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