my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
