my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
