I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
