I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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