I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
