11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
