Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
