It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize