if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
