i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
