they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
