me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
