Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
