I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
