She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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