also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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