Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
