Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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