Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
