shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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