too bad you live with your parents still
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
