when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
