i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize