Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
