i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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