Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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