The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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