nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
