One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
