actually, I'm a sock model
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
