i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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