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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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