oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
