arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
